A Challenge

Well I have a theory that sleeping medication are depressants and that by taking them I am actually getting depressed. Also we know that alcohol is a depressant so I am trying to not take sleeping medication (Lunesta or Sonata) and drink for one week. Also with this I am cutting out coffee, since I think it could be the stimulatants that cause the sleeplessness. But not drinking coffee for me is really hard too! Maybe if I take a little Kava Kava that will be okay..

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2 thoughts on “A Challenge

  1. My beautiful son was only 25 years old when he quit this life. We tried to help him we commited him in the hospital against his will twice in 7 days. He was released from the hospital on a Thursday and the Friday after he put his plan into action and commited suicide, See he had no medical insurance no job and no money. The last day of his life he started out with a positive outlook. He went to the medical assistance office to get madical assistance so he would be able to keep his counciling appointment with the local counciling center….. he was denied help……. so then he called catolic social services,,,,,,,,, to no avail,,,,,,,,,,, he then returned to the hospital to talk to the social worker,,,,,,,,, they couldnt help him,,,,,,,,, the last day of my sons life every door that could have helped him didnt just close they slamed The last text on his phone was at 3am it said i see Jesus and the angels are here for me now. carbon mioxide poisoning was the cause of death. He left behind a beautiful son. My son,s name was Mario April 4 1984 to June 20 2009.
    A few days after that an overwelming feeling came over me and i had to put my thoughts on to paper… I believe it was my sons spirit,
    To My Mom
    I FELL ASLEEP AND THE ANGELS CAME TO TAKE MY PAIN AWAY
    I DID NOT MEAN TO HURT ANYONE I COULD NO LONGER STAY
    MY HEART ACHED SO BAD INSIDE, MY THOUGHTS JUST WEREN’T SRAIGHT.
    PLEASE OH MOM JUST UNDERSTAND THE CONSTENT TOURCHERING ACHE
    YOU BELIEVED IN ME WHEN NO ONE DID WE WALKED THREW ALL ROUGH TIMES
    I LOVE YOU MOM AND PLEASE BELEVE IM IN YOUR HEART YOUR SOUL YOUR MIND
    LET ME GO AND BE IN PEACE YOU MEAN SO MUCH TO ME
    PLEASE OH MOM FORGIVE ME
    IM SORRY I MADE YOU GREVE.
    BE WITH MY SON AND SEE HIS FACE THROUGH HIM YOU WILL SEE ME.
    TELL – – – – – THAT IM SORRY I JUST WANTED HER TO SEE
    SHE WAS MY HEART I LOVED HER, I LOVED MY FAMILY.
    I JUST COULDN’T GET PAST THE EMPTINESS THAT I THOUGHT WOULD NEVER LEAVE.
    I guess the point im trying to make is some people really do reach out for help,,,,,,,,,,,, Its just so sad the help isn’t always available…..

  2. I am so deeply sorry for you loss.
    It seems that every system failed him, at least this is how it seemed
    It seems you did everything you could do.
    “Suicidal behavior is the result of a medical condition.
    It is not a sign of weakness of character.” ASFP

    I recommend getting support for yourself @ American Suicide Foundation for Prevention
    which has groups for those who have lost ones to Suicide.

    I feel a bit troubled providing you with all this advice when I too have this same challenge inside me.

    I feel the love you had for your son and my heart breaks for you.

    Take care

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