Dark Day

Today was a dark day as i think about ending my life for 3 hours today, i took an extra dose of antidepressants in 30mins I started to feel better.  My biggest fear is that I will end it.

I pray for a better day tomorrow.

Is there anyone there?

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17 thoughts on “Dark Day

  1. I am so sorry to hear this. I have minor depression from time to time but nothing that makes me want to take my life. Please hang in there.

    Not to sound cliché but life is worth living and I hope you find the help you need.

    Forgive my obvious question but have you told your doctor about this? Please seek advise on this.

  2. Thank you for being there!

    I work on it everyday – meds, herbals, oil pills, doctors, therapist, family, friends, prayer, hope & tears…

    You have a good point and from you post I spoke to my therapist.. but your right I should have the courage to speak with my doctor, but afraid of being hospitalized to be honest. Meanwhile, I am starting and MBA and expecting my second child.

    Thank you for your kindness.

  3. The best help for me has been to reachout and help other people.

    (A bit ironic, but it helps me to help others)

    Thanks

  4. im depressed to ive been havin the same thoughts but im not on antidepressents but i manage to make it through the day.i need help.

  5. im depressed to.im having the same thoughts but im not on an antidepressnt.ive been managing to make it through the day.i need help.im only 13 though.

  6. Ah, well for me it started at 11 but did no get diagnosed until I was 18. I wish I had been diagnosed sooner, I would have had a much better teenage time. Try posting to psychcentral in forums there r ver smart helpful people there. Again the first step is to get diagnosed. If u are in immedate crisis or danger go to the about section on the blog suicide hotline or go to your nearest er or call 911 (us)
    Takecare

  7. doing better……kinda.today one of my best friends said they didn’t want to be friends anymore because i was sad all the time.she won’t even let me explain how i feel.ive been tryin hard to be cheerful around her.guess its not good enough.

  8. That must be tough, sorry to here u lost a friend. I think that it so good to have friends who like u 4 who u r, maybe u can make more friends. Hang in there, I recommending getting a councilor or school social worker u can talk to, I found the sooner I started talking to someone the more comfortable I was with myself to meet others. U R not lone. Take care

  9. doin better now that ive finally told someone.thank you so much.ive actually been depressed for 2 years now mostly because of drama.ive been getting better but then it takes a down turn.how are you feelin?
    L0H[Lots Of Happiness],
    ~kjh~

  10. Hi!
    Wow you r the first to tell me about your dark thoughts… It is kind of an honor. Please also look at forums which include: pychcentral.com and go to forums, then you have walkers.org which has a live chat for you 24 hours a day and others. It is scary to have these thoughts, but it is actually an illness, which most people don’t except or get the treatment. You are very mature to come out with your feelings. I think the important things are to be aware, to know when you are going down and be safe when it happens. I keep track of my feelings 1-10 and the graph them, from this I can determine when I am going to become unsafe.
    Thank you for asking me how I am feeling… I am under the weather, at a 3, but I have hope. Take Care

  11. doing better today…..today my friend said sorry and that she wanted to help but here’s the thing..i dont know what to do…well in a sense i know.talked to the school counsler today…it made me feel a little better.and today a bunch of people threw this party thing to try and make me feel better.it kinda worked.
    hope you have a great day.

  12. Hi jkh,
    Well ur v strong went 2 the counsilor and now u R feeling better, that says that counciling maybe helpful. Then u said that ur friend said sorry – so a person cares and wants to be UR friend, many depressed people don’t have friends for a variety of reasons. Then u said they thew a party to cheer u up, there is real love around u, positive energy and caring and a social support system. Basically I will share with u my school experience, I used to share my dark thoughts with my peers and it would drive them away then I would try and date and scare my dates away when I opened up. So I learned the best place to share the dark thoughts was with a councilor and it helped. I recommend for u if u think u have depression talk to the councilor and get a formal diagnosis so that they can get u treatment. I know this sounds scary but the sooner you do the better. I am having a tough day check out my blog. Today I am a 2, tomorrow I see my councilor so I am hangin on there.
    Ps please take care of urself if u r suicidal which means going to er, 911 or at least contact 800-sui-cide.
    Pss u may want to start telling ur parents that ur having issues and want help.

  13. which is bad 1 or 10?today has been a okay day….well better than yesterday.:-] i hope you get to feelin better.

  14. Unfortunately 1 is really bad, it is when I have to go to the hospital. But I am so happy for u. I knew u might be mad that I suggested talking to ur parents, just trying to help.

  15. im not mad.i actually talked to my mom.and she said she didn’t want to take me to the doctor,she said they would just put me on antidepressents,and she doesnt want me on them.which i dont really understand.

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