Deep darkness

Well I am not sure if what I am doing is working -or maybe to well, but I have been staying up late listening to dark music (links found on this site) and posting my art and teenage attempts on trying to get it out of my system, but I fear that I am just reenforcing this behavior and thinking. I can hear the dark songs playing in my head throughout the day….
So I guess I should just hide from my depression?


24 thoughts on “Deep darkness

  1. what i do is every night i might listen to dark music then every mornin wake up and listen to 1 happy song 3 times.and it gets it out my head.

  2. This is an excellent idea, please recommend a happy song. (shiny happy people is good?) I actually feel a little addicted to listening to the dark music and think about the afterlife… but this is not healthy. I will need to learn to control myself.
    Take care

  3. all american girl,clumsy,and crazier are happy songs.ive never heard that song.doin better stayed home with a fever today.

  4. Hope u r feeling better soon. Hang in there hopefully u r learning about depression online. I think u could Check with ur school counciler to see if u can get diagnosed(even wo ur mom) it could be dystemic disorder instead of depression. Or if you can see a dr they can run blood to check hormone, thyrod function to see if this could be causing ur darkness. Please don’t give up hope.
    Over the counter antidepressants include st john wart, SAMe and others. Even good old epa/dha fish oil could help with mood.
    Please don’t read an attempt entry since it could be triggering. Note: a trigger is something that can send a person spiraling down into depression.
    Be well.
    If 10 is great, super and 1 is hospital self danger where r u? I am a 3 today.

  5. im so scared right now when reading this remeber i am a virgin.i am 5 days late for my period.i’ve never been late before ive been early but never late so im really worried and scared about this.can depression be the cause of this? i was supposed to start on so worried and confused.i dont no what to do.

  6. doin bad had to hide anything i could use as a weapon.thought about killing myself for a few hours.kinda scared your the only one i can talk to.

  7. Yes, emotions can definitely make of a late period. You may even miss it entirely for a month. But this does not necessarily mean that you are depressed, but simply under emotional strain. check on the med sites about missing periods due to emotional strain. Hang in there you will be okay. U may want to tell your mom, I am sure she has had this happen before.

  8. I am happy to be here. REMOVE ALL WEAPONS, create a safe place for yourself. if you are really in danger call 911 or go the emergency room, ur mother will forgive you. Or if you are really stuck this these good folks a call at 1-800-SUICIDE. Hang in there.

    Suicidial behavior is the result of a medical condition.
    It is not a sign of weekness of character. AFPS

    U R not alone!

  9. We got to get you hooked up someone. The school council would be a good start and maybe regular sessions. I think you may be a rapid cycler which means that you rapidly cycle in and out of depression, which is part of the bipolar disorder.
    Sleep well & feel loved!

  10. found out drama was a main source.and my trigrs.everytime i get into a fight with my friends or family i just snap.going to try to talk to my mom again.who knows maybe shell change her mind.
    today was a are you?i kow why i havent started myperiod yet.ihad two last month and the second went into thus month.i was so worried about nothing.haha.

  11. “drama” does this mean anything dramatic in UR life spins you down to think of suicide? I think that maybe more constructive cooping skills could be replaced the ones that you have, this is done through CBT – Cognative Behavioral Therapy. I too am at a 4 yesterday and today. It is just weird, I was on Wall Street in Manhattan with my last job and now I am in Chicago at hooters with a bunch of guys. The are all into guns, trucks and dogs while I am into art and music. But I think for me it is important to keep the appiture open, experience new things, and to open myself to new types of people.
    I brought my heart joy to get an email from you. Did you talk to your T? Is everything okay? R U safe?
    You have a good heart. A gift. Maybe look at becoming and Art Therapist, A Therapist or if you want to get into the science side Pychitrist.
    By the way how is your anxiety? Do you think that is what drives you over the edge?

    Take Care

  12. I hope my blog is not to heavy, for it is I explore my teenage years and my attempts… I in no way am encouraging this for you. I know more now how to be safe, ect, and provide crisis info in that ABOUT button on the left.

  13. Well to be honest, I am super dark about a 2 on our scale.
    But this week I will have a Psychiatrist, Therapist and the Depression and Bipolar Support Group. For the Psychiatrist, I will have to be honest without getting hospitalized (that is my goal) because it would really mess up my work and pay ect.

    I encourage you to keep working on your supports. (, and pyschcentral -> forums) can all be helpful.

    I will try to be safe. I recommend you be safe. My secret – Sunday Nights are the toughest for me.

    Take care

  14. I am okay, I had a life changing experience, I met up with a woman who had attempted in front of a train and lived. We meet for about 2 1/2 hours and she convinced me that if I am going there, I will always go the emergency room. This is life changing for me, because now I will live.
    more info on the blog. I am at about a 3 today. Hope you are feeling well and going activities that make you happy.

    Take care

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