Make it end.(warning trigger)

Please God make it end.
I know in 100 yrs nothing will matter anyways, just end it for me. What is the irony of terminal people wanting to live and ‘healthy’ depressed people wanting to die?
Turn me into the ash from once I came, release my soul from this mortal coil. P-L-E-A-S-E help me.
There is nothing, there is no one, there is no hope, there is only the end. My body is like a cocoon, and after my death my soul will be released to explore the universe like a butterfly.
I know this feeling… I just need time, sleep, maybe kava kava and I will feel better….please take the darkness away. Dr says double the antidepressants… And have a good day, next. Maybe I can cry…. Maybe that would help… I feel like I want to die, but I must be responable… I don’t aways feel this way…. What about the times of joy like being in Brazil on a sail boat. What about see my new baby’s face? I guess I am having a minicrisis. Maybe bipolar people should not get married and have kids. Who knows?
Is there anyone out there? Anyone reading? Anyone that cares?
I call into the darkness.


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