So there r a lot of caring people who have lined up and say I will be there 4 u. Just email/post to the forum. Is this that really there? How about a number, not that I would actually call but at least… Maybe it is the next generation texting is the same as calling, who knows.
Well the resolution stands and I will go to the er if I become depressed, now I am just waiting for the dark feelings to end. With the increase in meds it has gotten better, better. Bless you all who read this, my secret dark struggle continues and I count each person who reaches out to me as an angel, as I am in deep need and I don’t know how to reach out.


4 thoughts on “Update

  1. I want to tell you that God really does exist …You have to invite Him into your life. Soon after that_you ‘ll begin to feel His presence.
    I have to tell you that till several years ago I was a skeptic,even an atheist .As for the sufferings of the soul I was submerged in them…So, I have experienced both_the pain and, also, His intervention into my life.Believe me_it will be a real enchantment to watch his work on your inner being_soul & mind.But,of course, you’ll notice exterior events too…
    As for me_I’ll pray for you !I know for sure that this will benefit you.Some day_after
    having advanced in your relation with God_you’ll pray for someone else and you too will
    be convinced that your pray would have effect .This is my e.mail: mariamne126@hotmail.com_I’d be glad to receive a message from you !

  2. Thank you so much for your kind thoughts and sharing your personal experience.
    If prayer works, then I will try it. I have really though about your post for several days…

  3. Hi ! I’ve just read your post (had subscribed for e.mail notifications). It would be an honour for me to accompany you on this path,at least for the beginning;and to share with you everything I have understood ,so far,about this marvellous situation:being into a personal relation with God…
    If you have got a Bible _ in the book of Numbers,
    chapter 6,verses 24-27_ appears a blessing formula given by God Himself to Moses;after exposing the words to Moses ,God concludes :”in this way you will put My name upon the sons of Israel_and I will bless them” (this is my own translation_as I don’t have an English version of the Bible,around;by the way_let me see if you guess what country am I from ?!).I don’t dare to write the words of the blessing in English because I’m not sure that in my translation_ I could keep undamaged their whole sense as their poetical beauty also …
    But I put them into my own language.Here they are:
    “Domnul sa te binecuvinteze si sa te ocroteasca de rau !
    Domnul sa faca sa lumineze fata Sa peste tine si sa se indure de tine !
    Domnul sa.Si inalte chipul peste tine si sa.ti dea pacea Sa !”
    As we could understand _by saying these words, we just bring God’s name upon a person_which ,in fact,means that we bring Himself,as a person _because He is His name…(in the sense that He is only essence; and,in this case, the name_ numen _the essence_ should be regarded as opposed to the phenomenon_ the appearance;in the same way, we can’t say that He has such or such qualities_because He IS those qualities;He does not have goodness_HE IS goodness,or love_or any of His qualities that are,in fact,His essence).
    As for the blessing in itself_ it is conferred by God Himself .In our case too _I only invited Him to bless you.
    In this sense_the usual formula “God bless you !”_is very accurate.
    I must tell you that, in my country’s language, the word blessing is something that would translate literally as “good wording”,”good-speech” or ,maybe _even as “speech for good ” or “speech with good consequences”. So,a blessing from God’s part_ would mean, first of all, a flow of God’s words upon someone or something.But what language does He speak_anyhow ?!
    But what if we would consider His words_ not as a language but_ as the purest knowledge,or information (or absolute truth or Logos !) and,as consequence _their flow upon us would consist of an impregnation of that absolute truth into our minds and souls_into our inner being,in general…Of course they are not, generally,expressed through audible human words (it is my personal opinion that this is for our own protection,for the protection of our
    psychological sanity!). And,by this way,by this impregnation of our inner being with this divine “speech”_our whole system would be transformed,reprogrammed.Among other results of this reprogramming (each one of them marvellous ! ) would be the abolition,the disappearance_ of any suffering and pain from our mind and soul ( and even our body) because this informational shift would trigger all sorts of chemical re-balances in the brain and the rest of the body…
    In fact,I could say that,by blessing us _God Himself performs, upon us, a huge and effective psycho-therapy with results on multiple levels (chemical,physiological,structural , regarding our general existence,etc).

    By saying all these_in no way do I mean that you_or anybody _should renounce his actual treatment(psychotherapy or medicines ).!!!In fact _God has many ways of action in our lives ! One of them could be through a good doctor and a good treatment or a good support group ….
    Anyhow,if His blessing induces,sooner or later,(I wish you_sooner !) an evolution for the better of an illness_that would,logically, conduct to the cease of medication and therapy.But not before that good evolution takes place.
    In the Bible _Jesus tells to many of those cured by Him _to go and show themselves to the priests,after their cures.Such should be the course to be followed today, also :wait with trust and hope that God’s work is showing it’s results_and,then, go in front of the doctors and let them conclude about the therapeutic decisions to make.
    I would add that_it could be considered an expression of gratitude from our part towards God_to give,in this way,to the whole world _our testimony about the healing
    He has performed upon us.
    Once again_I’ll direct the words of that blessing towards you ,inviting God to pour His “good speech” upon you !
    I leave you in His care !

    In the end,please forgive me for the length of this post !

  4. This is great, thank you for the response. U are a Romanian living in Amsterdam? Your caring is appreciated (and may be working).

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