right back at you

Right back at you…
For years I have been scaring people with my dark and depressed behavior and when I was a teen by plans for self murder. Now years later the shoe is on the other foot. I am helping a person who I met though the dbsa and she has plans to kill herself by her 41st birthday, Oct 12th 2011 and she has the means to do it (od of tricyclic antidepressants) I am scared for her – and if she kills herself I fear that I will be so sorrowful I may do the same. I challenged her with this that her end could be my end too, this really made her think. She said you mean you care, for she could only see caring in life and death terms. Believe me I know the feeling. My wife was mad since I did not return until 11:30pm when the meeting started at 6:30pm. I have since made up with her however my heart is heavy knowing my friend has a date, a means and plan for end of life.
And why? Because she is not married, has no children, she says she has no one, she keeps quoting margo hemmingway who also comitted suicide at 41 it has become her idol.

Dear God please save this person, dear god give me the strength insight and guidence to help me help them. I wish I was superman and I could save her magically. The challenge is that she is super bright and logical arguments have to be made well.
Please help me God.


2 thoughts on “right back at you

  1. being a person of verv sucidal tendencies, i want you to know, for a fact, there is nothing you can do! all thw recomendotions all the fellowship, and time spent can do nothing when someone is decided. that being said, friendsip and comunication are invaluable. sometimes, like me, people feel theres no one who really cares. that means being there 24/7 until they get help and begin to recover. thier lfe is at stake!

    i want to die, if i just had one person who loved me and was good to me i could be ok, not great but ok. sevrere depression is a complicated problem that people qho dont have it will never understand!
    if the worst were to happen, you have to live your life to the fullist. what a wonderful way to cut this condition in the bud and not let it spread like weeds. you have to go on!! cant say this enough. i would my children to go on and be ok. everyone lives in their own skin.

  2. To Amber Urdahl,
    Thank you so much for your kind post, I am not sure who you are or where you are but I care and I send my love, so this means that I love you, yes, someone loves YOU, I hear you, I feel that you have pain with limited hope. STAY ALIVE – PLEASE.
    For me, getting medication, treatment and sharing with others has helped greatly, but there are still challenges. I am on facebook – Christian Darko.
    I am not a therapist or Doctor, just a warm hearted caring soul on earth.
    I always believe that if you are wanting to die, why not just get anything at try so for me I went to a Dr. and Therapist and been going every since. I am living. You are living too, but living with depression, but fear not there are others of us on earth, U R not alone (smile).

    I have lots more advice about herbals, meds, CBT and more….

    Hang in there.


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