Positive Course of Events

Well it is an interesting course of events everything I wanted is happening.
I wanted to feel successful, and while I didn’t think I could get into MBA school I was accepted. I took my first class my team liked me and ended up doing well, I feel sucessful.
I always wanted a group of people who I care about and care about me. A group that I can share my true feelings depressed or happy and they r there. I want to be a positive helpful force in their lives – I want to make a difference. I feel that I am achieving having this group of friends, it makes me feel happy.

What happens now? I am a little scared when I am going to drop down into the darkness… When/if the depression will come back. I am going to keep doing what I am doing- eating 3 meals a day, sleeping al least 5hrs per night, meds, herbals and exercise.

It is kind of like being a different person, I find myself cleaning, working, caring for others… Maybe this is just the manic side, maybe it is summer and the sun.
Thank you for another day, I need to remember these times for when/if the dark days come.


10 thoughts on “Positive Course of Events

  1. Thank you for sharing your deepest feelings once again and congratulalions on school, being accepted into an MBA program. I wonder what your course of study will be? I wonder if you continue to work on the art that is so beautiful? It seems the more that you do, and the more that you share, is weaving you through the more of this life. Your soul connects with so many others. Your movement towards health, however wavering it may be at times, encourages all that you touch through this blog… Diane at http://www.soulstrand.com

  2. Hello Diane,
    Tried to email you the other day but it bounced. That is great you are an art therapist. Thank you for reading my blog, it is interesting that depression can come an go, but when it comes feel like forever and that it is the end. Truthfully, I are so scared as everything is working, functioning, it is like walking a tightrope and if I make a misstep I will fall into the abyss.

  3. i hear you… however, i want you to know that “a fall”, is now at least a bit cusioned, by the work you are doing… the sharing, the art, the connections at school and with family… compassion will flow back… diane at http://www.soulstrand.com

  4. Hi! This is God’s intervention_ manifested into your life !…
    When those dark thoughts or inner states come back (as everyone_not only the depressive persons _has such moments, from time to time)
    rapidly direct your mind to Him_ tell and pronounce,on and on_ His name .Till you feel those thoughts_like some black birds_vanish and leave you in peace.

    By doing so_ You’ll elicit a quick response from His part_ which will come in the form of good , full of light,serene,positive_”vibration” (felt as an influence),coming upon your soul and mind.
    But remember to reiterate your invitation for Him to come into your life !As a confirmation,a sign that you did mean that_when you have made such invitation for the first time.
    And,also_take time to pray _apart from those emergency situations I was speaking about at the beginning of this post…Choose a moment when you are calm_go to your “little room”(as it is written in the Bible,in The New Testament) and pray_have a talk with God,tell Him everything that’s on your heart and mind_your sorrows,your pain,your wishes and hopes.Just talk to him as you would do with a good friend..Be direct,not formal_be as you are in that moment !If you are sad_be sad,if you are furious _be that way,express yourself in front of Him,in His presence.He will respond.There are many ways that He will do so_but he will do it_that’s for sure !Just pay attention !
    Try to do this “talk” everyday !

    I was so happy reading your words,here,in this post !Tears came to my eyes !

    I leave you in the care of your new friend_God !

  5. Hi !Just passing by_to see what’s new.Have you followed my last invitation ?
    Anyhow_everyone (invitation) I’ve made is still valid…

    I not only care about you _but I know Someone who has all the answers and the remedies for you_and who’s waiting_in fact,longing_to be received by you.
    Maybe I should put it this way : the only time in your personal relation with God when you need to be somehow formal_is when you ask Him to come into your life.I know this could sound quite contradicting what I was saying in my previous posts_but it’s not,believe me !If you have made that prayer,(which I would name “the point 0 prayer”)_perhaps you have noticed yourself as being inspired and carried away by some very warm feelings and rapidly moving thoughts.And_ you have addressed that call to God_to come into your life, while being in that powerful state of mind.
    Take some time and make that invitation ,again and again, every time you feel like but_choose some “cold” moments ,too.I mean_some moments when you don’t feel transported and inspired,on the contrary_when feeling in a common and “dull” state of soul and mind…Because_when you are inspired_in your prayer (and,my!how wonderful those moments are!) you are helped by God.In that moment you are an artist receiving wonderful words and thoughts_in order to make your progress on the path more consistent (the help is also coming from the part of all those who are ,already in a personal relation with God_they are His true church,His true gathering of people be it humans or angels).But He needs (especially in the beginning part of your path ) your “non-inspired” consent, too _that which is given in a formal and ,let’s say_cold ,state from your part.
    In that moment,when apparently you are left alone,uninspired _God is holding His breath,waiting for your “non-inspired”words.
    In the same way you’ll let your child to walk his first steps alone_without holding his hand…

  6. Yes, I will try since when a person has the illness of mood disorder/depression/suicidal thinking, I am about willing to try anything – really.
    So I will give this a try, I will pray and invite God in my life, if you say that it helps. Actually, I have taken your advice and have started and I am currently a little “manic” hence the last post, but maybe you could say it is the Spirit.

    Thank you!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s