I am so afraid, afraid of the future, afraid of being alone, afraid of the never ending darkness…
(click image below for music)Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil: For thou art with me;
Thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me.
Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies;
Thou annointest my head with oil; My cup runneth over.
My Secret: Rituals of Life
Recently, I have learned with my latest stopping of taking Lorenzapam, that I go out of control – manic. As an advisor in the DBSA (Depression and Bipolar Support Group) told me the tranquilizers provide structure for me.
So I am living with ritual, in the revolutions of life…
• Medication 3 times a day, 8 hours of sleep, 3 meals a day(and only eating during those times), 3 -30 min exercises per week (running, cycling), work 5 days a week, 2 days off for art/family and start again.
All this order and ritual, I wanted to find a natural balance with the world, after years,
I wrote a screensaver which is a calendar and clock that uses color theory (for Windows XP)
http://www.solsticeclock.com (I need to update the site.)
also you can go to http://download.cnet.com/Solstice-Clock-Calender-Screensaver/3000-2257_4-10653174.html?tag=mncol
•This is the essence of my life. Ritual over fear, today ritual wins.