Well I worked hard this week had many challenges which would normally trigger me into dark depression but somehow I prevailed. I kept telling myself be resilient, “hang-on and you can make it till the next day!”
I had a review at work, which always makes me get really depressed. This one was by 2 supervisors and was 85% positive but they told me I need to show more leadership, ect, ect…. normally I would be upset, but then after work, I was leading the Depression and Bipolar Support Group (DBSA) meeting for the greater Chicago Area which went very well, and well that shows leadership… so what are they talking about?.. the answer? they are wrong.
Maybe the trick to success and health living is having so many things going on, that if anyone of them starts providing negative feedback, you can just over look it, say “that is their problem not mine” and “I am a good person” instead of the “I am flawed and not worth living” self defeating talk. So basically I am working on changing how I think about myself for the better as I am working to fight depression and self distructive thinking.
Other challenges included an exam, take home exam, running a project review and helping a friend try feel better about turning 40.
What’s next, A BABY, yep any-day I will be a father.
Hang in there all! Ur worth it!