It was my birthday, what is like to be a person who has attempted 4 times to have a birthday? VICTORY that what if feels like. I am so proud of myself, I have learned to keep my self safe using herbals and Rx, I know how to shut down negative self talk and if all else fails I have leaned not to be afraid to go the hospital, as I owe it to the ones who care. This is such a contrast from the dark place I have come from, the state of mind where I actually thought that the ash of my creamains had more value as fertilizer than my life on earth. And it has been in part to each one of you Julie, Maria, Carmen, Katrina, Marianna, Karen, Inez, Rana, Dilla, and many others. In stead of you becoming palm bearers, carrying my silver colored coffin with red roses on top. Each of you has played a part in pushing me back into the light; some through love, helping me on a report, sensuality, genuine caring, living a hopeful and cool life, providing scriptural guidance, needing guidance yourselves and more. My soul was bombarded with warmth in so many different ways the darkness melted away like ice cubes in the hot sun. I am a safer person for this and have learned so much. From the bottom of my heart please know that you have helped save a losted soul and I am eternally grateful. I live an other day and owe it all to you.