The birthday

Dear friends,

It was my birthday, what is like to be a person who has attempted 4 times to have a birthday?  VICTORY that what if feels like.  I am so proud of myself, I have learned to keep my self safe using herbals and Rx, I know how to  shut down negative self talk and if all else fails I have leaned not to be afraid to go the hospital, as I owe it to the ones who care.  This is such a contrast from the dark place I have come from, the state of mind where I actually thought that the ash of my creamains had more value as fertilizer than my life on earth.  And it has been in part to each one of you Julie, Maria, Carmen, Katrina, Marianna, Karen, Inez, Rana, Dilla, and many others.  In stead of you becoming palm bearers, carrying my silver colored coffin with red roses on top.  Each of you has played a part in pushing me back into the light; some through love, helping me on a report, sensuality, genuine caring, living a hopeful and cool life, providing scriptural guidance, needing guidance yourselves and more.  My soul was bombarded with warmth in so many different ways the darkness melted away like ice cubes in the hot sun.  I am a safer person for this and have learned so much.  From the bottom of my heart please know that you have helped save a losted soul and I am eternally grateful.  I live an other day and owe it all to you.


6 thoughts on “The birthday

  1. Thank you Dilla, it is interesting who different people help each other in the web of life simply by asking another for advice from me or you caring from across the world has helped.

  2. Christian,
    I am so happy to read this, it brings such a smile to my face. Not because I am one of those people that has helped (because I will never get what you see in me) but because you are a survivor. Because you are making it, because you see how worth it you are. Your life is a gift to us because you are such a kind and special person. You are an example to us how people can make it and what hope is all about. I have not known you for long but I have seen you come a long way. I am so happy that you are happy to be here yet another year and I truly pray that you will have many many more happy, healthy birthdays filled with so much love from all your family and all of your friends. I speak for myself when I say that I will do all I can to be here to watch you continually grow and morph into the amazing butterfly that you are becoming. Gods richest blessing in your life, always!

  3. Oh my!You really have had a very special and busy period,lately!And you successfully… “did” it !Congratulations!

    … When The Lord brought back the captives to Zion
    we were like men who dreamed
    Our mouths were filled with laughter
    and our tongues with songs of joy.
    Then,it was said among the nations:
    “The Lord has done great things for them”…
    The Lord has done great things for us
    And we are filled with joy.
    Restore our fortunes,oh,Lord
    like streams in the Negev!
    Those who saw in tears
    will reap with songs of joy.
    He who goes out weeping,
    carrying seed to sow,
    Will return with songs of joy,
    Carrying sheaves with him.

    Psalm 126

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