I have hope, that is what I have learned from all this, HOPE. Maybe things will work out, people do care and not everyone dies as I had thought growing ups as my two step brother and grandmother passed away.
The church keeps bringing in two meals a week, and now my wifes family has flown back to their country. Slowly things will get back to normal..
I keep studing statistics for my mba. I draw in my head, I should continue my work.
I found that I have purpose, to help peoPle with depression and bipolar disorder. Who knew my few psych classes and herbal pharmacology could come in to improve and help people, but mostly the cognitive thinking established in computer science provides a Level of mental clarity to analyze what people say and what they really mean. One woman told me that the recommendation for htp for sleep has changed her life. Another person described terrible social anxiety and we quickly learned that his father had beaten him for going to a friends house, and that perhaps this may have conditioned him to make any other friends, for the first step is to understand where the rule of thought, or fear was learned or conditioned, then a number of techniques can be applies to overcome these fears. Ironically those that need help the most don’t have the resources to get prof, pych help.
My new attitude is even though I get scared and sometimes feel like dying, I will keep on trying, trying to help, trying to care, trying to love, and trying to bring hope. For I have climbed from a dark hole in my soul, like trying to climb the steepest, blacked coal slag pile and I stand at the summit, as a beaken and now it is I, who seeS others which are lost, blind folded and trying to get out, I stand and call to them – assuring them progress is incremental, don’t be embarrassed, get help, keep climbing one step at a time.
If u r reading this thank you, and pls know u r a luvable good human being with value.