(I know this is a bit analytical but psychology actually is) I believe that bipolar individuals need to monitor their mood like diabetics need to monitor there sugar levels, it is part of the awareness of the condition. I have been monitoring my condition for about two years and every morning at work I write down on a scale of 1-10 how I am doing, where 10 is elation and 1 means I need to go to the hospital. I have found that with my 336 data points over the course of 480 days that I have an average of 4.36, and that I have a general tendency to go down. (thats not good) Well what does that mean? Well, my goal in life is to be at 7.5 which means feeling pretty happy and good and I may be forced to have some lifestyle changes to do this. – Maybe a new job, who knows. What else is interesting is that natural cycles occur. For it seems to be on about a 6 to a 8 month cycle for my, wait, you may say 6 months, isn’t that also the earths seasons? Yes. So this may also mean that I suffer from seasonal emotional disorder SAD which is treatable with Wellbutrin (Bupiron) which I already take… so maybe I need to take more in the winter months… very possible according to NAMI it would be 150MG. So maybe I need to take 150 more in the winter months. (too bad about the insomnia and obsessive thinking and anxiety I get.) Maybe I need to go to Brazil, which is summertime in the Winter since they are on the are on the other side of the globe, actually I already vacation there for this reason LOL. (but only for 2 weeks)
Something I learned in Stats class is that standard devations away form the mean are hard to achieve, what am I saying? Well if I do the math, I can calculate it if 7.5 is unlikely for me to achieve because natural systems tend to follow bell curves. (I guess I may to this later) And so as my councilor tries to get me to understand, sometimes it is as good as it gets…. meaning make the best of it… it is okay if your not 7.5 very happy.. you are you and that is okay.
Thank you all for caring… hope you enjoyed my math approach to depression.