My Mood Graph –

(I know this is a bit analytical but psychology actually is)  I believe that bipolar individuals need to monitor their mood like diabetics need to monitor there sugar levels, it is part of the awareness of the condition. I have been monitoring my condition for about two years and every morning at work I write down on a scale of 1-10 how I am doing, where 10 is elation and 1 means I need to go to the hospital. I have found that with my 336 data points over the course of 480 days that I have an average of 4.36, and that I have a general tendency to go down. (thats not good)  Well what does that mean?  Well, my goal in life is to be at 7.5 which means feeling pretty happy and good and I may be forced to have some lifestyle changes to do this.  – Maybe a new job, who knows.  What else is interesting is that natural cycles occur.  For it seems to be on about a 6 to a 8 month cycle for my, wait, you may say 6 months, isn’t that also the earths seasons?  Yes.   So this may also mean that I suffer from seasonal emotional disorder SAD which is treatable with Wellbutrin (Bupiron) which I already take… so maybe I need to take more in the winter months… very possible according to NAMI it would be 150MG.  So maybe I need to take 150 more in the winter months.  (too bad about the insomnia and obsessive thinking and anxiety I get.)  Maybe I need to go to Brazil, which is summertime in the Winter since they are on the are on the other side of the globe, actually I already vacation there for this reason LOL. (but only for 2 weeks)

Something I learned in Stats class is that standard devations away form the mean are hard to achieve, what am I saying?  Well if I do the math, I can calculate it if 7.5 is unlikely for me to achieve because natural systems tend to follow bell curves.  (I guess I may to this later) And so as my councilor tries to get me to understand, sometimes it is as good as it gets…. meaning make the best of it… it is okay if your not 7.5 very happy.. you are you and that is okay.

Thank you all for caring… hope you enjoyed my math approach to depression.


7 thoughts on “My Mood Graph –

  1. Thank you so much for your profound caring, ur caring advice (which has been very educated) and attention have been so helpful. I am cycling to a low point as u can see from the graph maybe because we r entering winter or the reduced sleep from my new baby. I am scared, I feel that God maybe caLling me to dark place, I am afraid because I want to be here for my wife and kids. Or it could be the mood disorder leading me a stray like the sirens (beautiful supernatural women) that call sailors to the rocks in their fragile wooded ships.

  2. Hi !
    Please excuse me but_as in my language the date is written with the number of the day before the name of the month_I haven’t noticed that the last point on the graph was for Nov.6;I’ve mistaken it for June 11Th.So,I thought_ it was ancient history ;which you used as an exemplification.
    …It came to my mind this image:a man is staying on a river’s bank;he is on the ground but_ being such close to the water_the moisture and the smell coming from the river_still reaches at him… Likewise_we all are sitting very close to the humanity collective unconscious mind and ,till we are totally absorbed in God’s light,being protected by it_we might receive the influence from the collective mind/soul(conscious+unconscious) in the form of thoughts or mood…
    What I’m trying to say is that we shouldn’t consider all the thoughts that pass through our minds_really ours.And the same _about the mood or feelings.
    Maybe our brain acts as a receiver_and gets all these signals which arrive to our minds and soul.And not all of them are positive.And some of them are even very dark or heavy,as a low frequency or something.
    This is what many meditation techniques are trying to do :quiet the mind and bring peace to the soul by keeping all these unwanted thoughts “at bay”.So_first is quieted the mind,which induces some balance in the neurochemicals;and then_the soul is calmed.
    Everything that works _I mean medicines ,therapy,meditation_is good and useful.
    But, I want to say that when God is accepted into someone’s life_He enters through his inner being and first manifests His actions there.And His Spirit is perceived by us as a positive and soothing influence.

    Of course,we might ask:”what is the difference between God’s intervention and any other one that helps and makes me feel good (without causing any damage), or even cure me ?”
    The difference is that_ through God’s presence into our inner being we are not only medically cured (or even morally).We come to be extracted from this world (dimension) and absorbed into His Kingdom,the Kingdom of Heaven_ of which we become a part.It is as we would receive a foreign citizenship.We are not anymore _under the influence and the power of this world_although we continue,apparently to be the same man,living in this world.
    From the moment we ask God with all our serious and conscious intention_to come into our life(and He does that by entering into our heart,then mind and soul_from the more profound levels to those more superficial ) _a process of inner transformation begins…This transformation,in the same time cures us but also liberate us from this world (which is not ,as for now_under the possession of God_as His rights have been,let’s say_ usurped) and from the power and influence that reign here and are not God’s ones_I can tell you that !
    In The Lord’s Prayer it is said :”Thy will be done
    On earth as it is in heaven ”
    These words speak exactly about this :to bring the “earth” (this world) in the same state as the “heaven”(the other world,God’s Kingdom).And,when we ask and affirm this as our desire (making our desire be the same as God’s desire _or will)_we ask it as regarding this little portion of the “earth” that is present and manifested in my person.Because ,in fact_it is the only part upon which I have the right to decide this.Not upon the world taken as a whole.Only in my person.But here _yes,I can do it.I mean_ I may decide to ask God to become my master (with the sense that I am accepted to belong to Him). And the easiest way to express this desire of mine is_ by asking Him to enter into my life.
    By asking this _I ask,also :”Thy Kingdom come !”. I’m asking : make my being (the portion of this world present into my being) a part of Your Kingdom,God ! Include the “territory” of my person _into Your Kingdom !
    Just one more little observation here:why ask Him to come into my life _how comes that I don’t ask Him to come into my heart?!
    Because_ asking His presence into my life means that I entrust myself completely to Him.As it would be more easily for me not to speak seriously when involving the heart(which is somehow quite vaguely placed).But when I say “my life”_this implies more conscious thought from my part as I am more preoccupied about “my life” than about “my heart”.
    This means I want to be totally surrendered and entrusted to God_not only on some portions_more or less vague to myself.

    Maybe these seem to you as “only words” (as an old song was saying).But they’ll act as a prayer,I promise !

  3. Sorry about this mistake !I re-write that part :

    …When I ask and affirm this as my desire(making my desire be the same as God’s desire_or will) I ask him as regarding this little portion of the “earth” that is present and manifested in my person…

  4. I have allllllways wanted to do this! The graph that is… I love that you have done this and hopefully it motivates me to make my own! I know it’s dreaming but I think perhaps people might understand more if they had something visual?

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