3 Tons of Coal

My father asked me to move *3 tons of coal* (really) with my other cousins, which he likes to burn in the fireplace. (crazy) I am so against this, so unenvironmental, dangerous to move 6,600 lbs, lastly in moving the coal it is easy to get ones hand crushed. (no thank you)  I told him, I was not going to come and I never showed…  This however is against the American work ethic of our family.  Later in the day, I got an email from my stepmother “Please discontinue using our Netflix and Amazon accounts.” Guess I am cut off, since I didn’t help… gotta love my family…

Actually this is only 1/100th of the treatment I had growning up, the  attitude “your with us, or your against us.”   I never had unconditional love and felt that I was not worth living, since if I made a mistake I would be abandoned.

The day I was accepted to Carnegie Mellon School of Art (with a University Presidential Scholarship which paid 1/2) they sat me down at the kitchen table and made me cry, like I did something wrong, like I was evil.  “We have only a little money for you..”  “you could go for the first year, but that is it.”   Instead, I went to a state school and studied computers so that I would never have to ask them again for money again.  Engineering was a hard road filled with uncreative people, it was the coal mines of Information Technology, I surrendered the development of my art talent.

Sorry for bleak report….

http://www.solsticeclock.com/Hey_Ho_SzalonaKombinerka2.wav

Christian

 

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2 thoughts on “3 Tons of Coal

  1. What can I say _ that’s a lot of coal,man …
    But you must get and keep a humorous look on matters like this;so,instead of making a tragedy out of them _ take some advantage out of them making a comedy.I think it would look something like Seinfeld.
    By this _ the proportion positiveness/negativity on your inner being would be brought favourable to the former;and this will have much beneficial impact on you as you’ll attract more positive things,instead of negative ones.
    I’ll be back with some thoughts about forgiveness _ which is a very strong tool,a very useful asset.
    But ,the problem with this, is that people try to work it on themselves,forgetting or not realising that the real forgiveness is something,some capacity _ coming directly from God.This is why it is said in The Bible that _ only God may forgive the sins.
    …Till then _ I want to tell you that I’m so glad that you brought back the old theme of your blog !

  2. Hi !There are so many things that I have to tell you !They’ve piled up in my head_waiting for their turn to be told here…I’m not making excuses for myself but_apart from my usual tendency towards procrastination & perfectionism_I’ve been under some nasty pressure,lately…To which,in fact_I’m quite grateful , because they made me pray more and ,also, do all sort of other interior work_in order to keep the anxiety or even the pain_out of my system…
    And do you know what I was doing?Well, I’ve simply started to tell to myself the words that were meant for you and for all your friends ,here.And some of them have already showed some results,while others are still to come.But I’m happy that I’ve reached,several times_ a level of prayer never attained til now and came back with some precious gifts which I’ll share with you all, in a few days from now…

    Going back to the subject of this post_I feel that,somehow_your father was trying and hoping_even though on an unconscious level_to get to spend some quality father-son moments.Please,my friend,try to offer him this “treat”_with the first occasion ;it will benefit yourself,also,allot !

    TLC & friendship

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