The darkness of life

Wow it all comes in for me when i don’t exercise.
What is upsetting me is that the contract employee who works qith me has been invited to go to the bar after work but i have not.  For another manager came to our area invites people by name.  The truth is it is for a person who i do not know that is leaving the company.  And my management chain is not attending.  I think the real truth is when i don’t work out my mood disorder flares up specially when i am under a large amount of stress as i am with the current mapping project that i am on.  May will say hard work gets u tho the top, i know instead that it is also who u know.   My next hurdle is writing my business plan just keep putting it off, i also want a working prototype of the software but between the kids and everything what will happen.  
I want to say thay i am lucky to have found caring loving people along the way.  People who provided me the unconditional love i never had who even became my lovers to make it though, in a time when i on thought the a person really cared if they would provide sex.  And now i have increased awareness and rx and the dbsa depression and bipolar support group to make it through.  Lastly my father is now trying when i came back from dc he parked the car and met me (although) 20 mins late, it was the act of caring which was so nice.


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