Darkness on friday

Wow it is intresting to feel on top then to feel crushed and sad.  Wow this rollercoaster makes like hard.  Perhaps it is the new pain killers can from the doctor for my finger…. wow so dark.  Well tonight guys on the block invited me out, and i have learned that one of the coping mechanisms of darkness/depression is distraction instead of isolation.  Although my first instinct is to curl up in bed and give up. 
Alternately i can take herbals like kava kava or an antiphychotic but that really shuts the mind down for 10 hours, although the productive manic feeling afterwards almost make it worth it. 
So the plan is stop taking the pain killer and switch to extra strength tylnol.
2 go out with friends,  stand up for myself if i am made of or issue an alternate diss. 
3 not over drink like 2 or 3 max beers
4 try to be light hearted, listen to the conversation,  contribute, don’t change the topic, good eye contact, feel relaxed as this is not business.
5 come home at a reasonable time.
This is the plan…
Feeling better already…

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